Health and Work Update!

I recently applied to work at JDH( A youth corrections facility) and was denied due to the fact that I don't have a two year degree even though I volunteered there for about 4 years. I now have decided to start applying around the state to work in adult corrections thus I have to pass a physical fitness test called ORPAT to work in any adult correction facility. I don't know at this point if I am physicality capable to pass this test in the condition I am currently in. Therefore I am putting myself through a boot camp which consists of working out or doing something to get my heart rate up three times a day. I want to see at least 3 inches drop off of my waist before Christmas. I have been struggling for the last few months with losing weight... I guess the body gets tired after dropping 140lbs! Yet I refuse let my body plateau any longer and like Paul the apostle said "I discipline my body and make it my slave" I am putting myself on a new regimen of working out 3 times a day which consist of heavy lifting in the morning, physio ball core training before lunch, and some form of martial arts training at night whether it's hitting the heavy bag or doing tai chi to get my heart rate up. I am going to apply with OYA and try to work at the Mclairn facility in Woodburn since it is so close to my house. I am also going to apply at the Tony's hookah lounge just up the street from where I am currently working so I can get a little extra spending money and pay off debt faster,plus free hookah stuff!

My Top Ten Weight Loss Rules!

10 Drink more water... I have found out that most of the time when I thought I was hungry I was really just thirsty.

9 Keep away from the scale... So many of us set ourselves up for failure by our daily disappointment by what we think we should be losing instead our body know what is healthy for us.

8 Keep active... I can't believe how many hours I have sat on my butt zoning out to TV,movies, video games. Start a hobby or sport you like doing that keeps you moving.

7 Start Resistance Training... What most people don't realize is the more muscle you have the more fat,carbohydrates, your body burns. You don't have to go to the gym to and rub elbows with muscle heads, you don't even need any equipment. Start a bodyweight workout right now!

6 Keep a journal... Many of us don't realize how much we eat and how little we workout. Start keeping track of your workout progress instead of looking at the scale everyday!

5 Get smaller plates and cups... It may seem silly but it works. You will dish less food if the plate is smaller.

4 Slow down while eat... This is a big struggle I am constantly learning. I eat in front of the TV which is a big no no, and I inhale my food. It takes about 20 to 25 minutes before my body even registers that I have eaten something.

3 Pool motivation from everywhere... I use tons of things around my to keep me on track ie people, books, the internet, and some tv shows.

2 Eat good calories and good carbohydrates... You must stop polluting your body with garbage. A general rule I have is if you can't pronounce it you shouldn't eat it. I eat mostly white meat and dark greens. I cut out bad carbohydrates like bread,rice, and potatoes.

AND THE NUMBER ONE...

1 Find out "WHY" you eat... Most of us don't like to admit it but we are emotional eaters. I have to battle my past "issues" and look at what causes me to want to put on more weight. This is and never will be easy for me but I must get a grips on the reason I over eat cause being over weight is like slowly committing suicide and it doesn't fix anything.

298.5!

Well well this morning I stepped on the scale and I am finally under 300lbs. I thought I would be more excited, happy, and proud of myself but I am not and I don't know why. I guess should have been more in every moment of losing weight rather than looking toward the goal so when I got there it would be so bland. I mean don't get me wrong I love it that I am getting healthier and looking better...I guess I just wanted more emotion from myself when the time came. So from here on out I am going to rejoice about every pound of fat that I lose and be happy with every pound of muscle I put on. Look out 297 your about to get dropped...

Grave digging?

I have been so blessed this last year that I have been able to loose about 130lbs. I have been glued to the show biggest looser on NBC. I have been noticing that in this season they have been showing the contestants past pain and how that has cause them to be obese. I will never forget when Paul Marks opend up and talked about what his father called "sessions". I have been asking myself as of late "why" I have let myself get to 430lbs. About a decade ago I lost around a hundred pounds but like most people who struggle with their weight I put all of it back on plus more in the next year or so. I remember as the weight started dropping women started to check me out and this left me feeling unsafe and dirty. My parents are amazing and my childhood was filled with love and care yet like a lot of people I was also subject to sexual and physical abuse. Therefore I now know that eating was a coping mechanism to keep me feeling safe. Women don't never wanted to "check me out" cause I was fat and No man wants to fight with someone who out weights them by 200lbs. As the weight slowly falls off me I am starting to feel the security of my size leave. Now I am not from the camp that thinks that going to see a psychiatrists of no value. I think it is out right stupid not to go to the ER if you cut your leg off and not go to the psychiatrist if you are ever emotionally traumatized. I have been to see counselors and there are great if you get a good one. I thought I "worked through" my past pain and "issues" but I guess losing this weight has cause me to start grave digging into my past. I love it that I am married and don't even think twice about what women are thinking cause I have the best woman ever who loves me for me even when I did weight 430lbs. My question is I guess how do I get over this insecurity? I wrote a haiku for what I have been feeling lately.


F-ree from comfort food
A-ll security is gone
T-riumphs are acrid